Business Without the Bullsh*t Read online

  If you’re an above-average worker, it becomes a judgment call (on the part of your boss) as to how much better you’re doing compared to that average. So you’ll need to show that you’re exceptional (more on this later).

  Similarly, if you’ve created your own unique job position (see “Secret 24. How to Find Your Dream Job”) or have ended up doing more than one type of job (like both selling and providing technical support), the categories in the published salary ranges may not apply.

  For example, at one point very early in my career I was responsible not only for writing computer operating manuals but also for designing the system we were using to create them. In this case the average salary for a technical writer wasn’t a meaningful metric, because what I was doing was unique. (As it happens, I asked for and received double-digit annual salary increases for several years.) However, if the categories are relevant, and it’s clear you’re being underpaid, e-mail your boss an FYI link to the sites. Rest assured, your boss will get the point.

  Beyond that, many bosses aren’t fully aware that it’s probably going to be an expensive hassle to replace you, so you need to gather information that makes these costs more obvious.

  Casually mention (long before you ask for the raise) that “HR professionals estimate it costs between two to three times an employee’s annual salary to replace that employee.” That your boss now knows this fact and knows you know, you have additional leverage.

  Now make a list of all the training you’ve received, either through courses or on the job, since you were hired. Compose an e-mail like this to your boss:

  Jill, I was thinking about all that I’ve learned here (see list below) and wanted to thank you for the investment that you and the company have made in my career.

  This e-mail is appropriate (you are grateful, right?) while also subtly surfacing how much it would cost to train somebody else.

  Finally, solicit e-mails of praise from customers and coworkers when they feel you’ve done a good job. For example, suppose you get a thank-you phone call from a coworker in another department. Send the coworker the following response:

  You’re certainly welcome! Hey, would you mind sending an e-mail to my boss saying how much I helped you out? Don’t forget to CC me!

  Ideally, you want your boss to be getting an audit trail of kudos that not only document what a great job you’re doing but subtly imply that customers and coworkers might be unhappy if you left to work elsewhere.

  4. GATHER YOUR DOCUMENTATION.

  Set up a meeting with your boss to “discuss your future.” Before the meeting, create a list of the contributions you’ve made to the financial success of the company. The list should be the results of your activities, rather than a list of activities themselves.

  WRONG:

  Worked with Acme proposal team.

  Handled customer information requests.

  RIGHT:

  Contributed specifications to the Acme proposal that led to a $1 million sale.

  Improved our overall customer satisfaction figures by 25 percent.

  Ideally you’ll have kudo e-mails that support the list. For example, for the first item above, you might want an e-mail from the head of the proposal team praising your contribution and stating that it was crucial to getting the customer to buy.

  Print two hard copies of the above. If the salary range information you’ve gathered on the Web is relevant, print two copies of that too. Highlight the relevant columns or rows. You are now ready to ask for your raise.

  5. STATE YOUR CASE.

  When your meeting begins, take the lead and set the tone by opening with: “I want to discuss what I see as a discrepancy between my value to the company and how I’m being compensated.”

  Your boss will not be overjoyed that you’re bringing this subject up. However, if you’ve laid the groundwork (Step 3), he or she will certainly not be surprised. Your boss may try to cut off the conversation with something like:

  “We can’t give you a raise right now.”

  “We can only discuss raises at your performance review.”

  “Corporate policy says no raises this year.”

  If so, you respond with, “Who said anything about a raise? I want to discuss the discrepancy between my value to the company and what I’m being paid.”

  Give your boss one copy of the material you’ve gathered and review it with him or her. Since you’ve laid the groundwork, there’s a good chance that your boss will simply concede that you’ve got a point and there is a discrepancy. If so, jump to Step 7.

  6. ANSWER ANY OBJECTIONS.

  If your boss objects to your characterization of your contributions, neither argue nor concede the point. Instead respond in a way that agrees with what your boss is saying but reinforces your point:

  Example 1:

  Boss: I don’t think you had all that big an impact on the Acme proposal.

  WRONG:

  You: I disagree, but whatever you say.

  RIGHT:

  You: I can see how it might seem that way from your perspective. However, it’s clear that I had an impact as evidenced by this e-mail from Acme’s head of manufacturing.

  Example 2:

  Boss: It cost a lot of money to train you. You should feel grateful.

  WRONG:

  You: It was hard work learning all of that and I should be paid for that hard work.

  RIGHT:

  You: Yes, I appreciate that the training has allowed me to make more of a contribution to the company and increase my value, which is why there’s now a discrepancy.

  Example 3:

  Boss: We expect this kind of excellence from everyone.

  WRONG:

  You: Yeah, but I think I’m more excellent so you should pay me more.

  RIGHT:

  You: I’m pleased that you realize that my performance has been excellent. I see it that way too.

  Remember: your goal is to get the boss to concede that there is indeed a discrepancy between what you’re being paid and what you’re worth. After you’ve fielded any objections that your boss has raised, ask:

  You: Have we established that I should be paid more based upon my value to the company?

  If the boss answers no, the discussion is over. You can conclude that you’re not going to get a raise from this boss, regardless of what you say or do. That’s bad news, but at least now you know.

  If the boss answers yes or maybe (which in this case means “Yes, but I don’t like where this conversation is headed”), move to the final step.

  7. PUT THE BALL IN THE BOSS’S COURT AND KEEP IT THERE.

  Once you’ve established that you should be paid more, ask the boss, “What do you intend to do?”

  Either you will now get a commitment (“I’m giving you a ten percent raise”) or the boss will make some attempt to stall or change the subject. No matter what he or she says, keep driving toward a commitment while you’ve got the advantage.

  Example 1:

  Boss: I’ll see what I can do.

  You: Exactly what are you going to do?

  Example 2:

  Boss: I can’t give you a raise because there’s a salary freeze.

  You: We both know there are always exceptions. How are you going to get around the freeze so that I’m paid what I’m worth?

  Example 3:

  Boss: I can get you a raise if you take on project XYZ.

  You: I’m happy to talk about future projects, but we’ve already established that I’m being paid less than I’m worth. What do you intend to do about that now?

  Key point: once you’ve gotten your boss to admit that there’s a discrepancy between your value to the company and what you’re being paid, do not let your boss off the hook until you’ve gotten a commitment with a number attached to it.

  SHORTCUT

  ASKING FOR A RAISE

  NOBODY cares what you need, want, or expect to be paid.

  YOUR salary is dependent on your financial contributio
n.

  LET your boss know how much it would cost to replace you.

  GATHER information to buttress your case.

  ESTABLISH a discrepancy between your value and your pay.

  FIELD objections so they reinforce your case.

  PUSH until you’ve gotten a commitment with a number.

  SECRET 6

  How to Handle Unreasonable Requests

  Bosses (even great ones) can be unreasonable. You must therefore be prepared to react appropriately when the boss asks you to do things that either are outside your job description or would require too many extra hours of work.

  1. DECIDE WHETHER THE REQUEST IS TRULY UNREASONABLE.

  If you’re salaried, by far the most common unreasonable request will be for you to regularly work more than forty hours a week. Also common are assignments that are “beneath” your job role as it’s usually defined, such as being asked to do data entry when you’ve been hired to provide technical support.

  Other unreasonable requests might involve providing various kinds of personal services to the boss. For example, I recently read of one manager who expected her employees to cater her private party.

  Ultimately it’s up to you to decide what’s unreasonable for you. Remember, though, if you don’t draw the line now, what was once an unreasonable request will become an implicit part of your general job description. And that will make it much harder to refuse similar requests in the future.

  If you decide that the request is truly beyond the pale, skip directly to Step 3. If the request is in a bit of a gray area, proceed to Step 2. Special case: if your boss requests something that is actually illegal, contact your lawyer and activate your escape plan (see “Secret 22. How to Achieve Career Security”).

  2. RESTATE THE REQUEST AS A QUID PRO QUO.

  If your boss has shown a willingness in the past to trade favor for favor, you may be able to use the unreasonable request to your advantage. For example, if your boss has previously rewarded extra hours of work with under-the-table time off, maybe you can make a deal.

  If you think you can, estimate the amount of time and effort your boss is requesting. Based on that estimate, come up with something comparable that will advance your own career or enhance your own life. Example: “I’d be happy to cater your party if you’ll send me to the user group conference in Tahiti this winter.”

  What’s important here is that you’re establishing a precedent. By demanding something substantial in return, you’re making it clear to the boss that you’re no chump. This will minimize unreasonable requests in the future.

  3. IF NECESSARY, JUST SAY NO.

  There is a right way and a wrong way to do this.

  The wrong way is to make excuses. Example: “I’d love to work this weekend but I’d risk being arrested for child neglect.” While this seems like an easy way out, it allows the unreasonable request to pop up later in a slightly different form. (For example: “How about working through your lunch hours?”)

  A better way to say no is to force a discussion of priorities that puts the unreasonable request into perspective. Say something like, “If I do A thoroughly, I won’t be able to do B thoroughly. Which of the two is the real priority?”

  If the boss persists, you may need to be more direct, like “No, I don’t intend to do that because [reason that makes sense to you and hopefully to the boss as well].” Here’s an example from very early in my career:

  Boss: Please type up this handwritten memo for me.

  Me: I was hired as a writer, not as a typist, so I’m not going to be able to do that for you.

  This approach could be perceived as the “wrong attitude” and result in the boss’s getting annoyed and possibly putting you at future disadvantage. That’s why you’ve got to have your options open.

  While being this direct with your boss may seem difficult, saying no is like any other skill. It gets easier the more you do it.

  SHORTCUT

  NEGOTIATING UNREASONABLE REQUESTS

  BE flexible about what’s unreasonable.

  IF you agree, get something in return.

  CULTIVATE the courage to say no.

  SECRET 7

  How to Cope with a Bully

  Some bosses can’t keep their temper, and yell at their employees. If your boss tries this management “technique,” you need to nip the situation in the bud. If you don’t, the behavior will recur and you’ll find yourself dreading every day at work.

  1. REALIZE THAT THIS IS ABNORMAL BEHAVIOR.

  When bosses yell at employees, some employees assume that this is normal, if unpleasant, boss behavior. It’s not. Regardless of the business situation, regardless of how tense the boss becomes, you have the right to be treated with civility and respect.

  Bosses who vent anger and frustration on others in the workplace are being childish and self-indulgent. They are using other people as punching bags to calm their own fears and worries. Bullying is abusive.

  2. DO NOT PLACATE.

  For many people, the first response when confronted with an angry boss is to stare aghast and then try to get the boss to calm down by apologizing—even if there’s no good reason the employee should be apologizing.

  Unfortunately, any attempt to placate somebody who is acting this way communicates that you consider the behavior acceptable and you’re willing to tolerate it. Instead, do the following:

  3. RAISE YOUR OWN INTENSITY LEVEL.

  Bullies, like dogs, can smell fear. And, like dogs, they tend to back off when the other dog snarls back. Do not yell because that will escalate the conflict. Instead, match the intensity in the other person’s face and eyes.

  Think of it this way: what everybody (including your boss) wants is a connection—a sense that he or she is being heard. However, you can’t really connect with a boss if you’re wimping out. So glare back and prepare to put some steel in your voice.

  4. CALL THE BULLY’S BLUFF.

  State that you’re willing to help resolve the problem that’s got the bully upset, but that you won’t tolerate abuse. Don’t mince words. Make it clear that you expect everyone around you, including your boss, to behave toward you in a civilized manner.

  Watch for the reaction. Nine times out of ten your boss will back down, because when reasonable people lose their tempers, they know that they’re behaving poorly and welcome the opportunity to recover their poise.

  5. IF THE ABUSE CONTINUES, WALK AWAY.

  Sometimes, though, the bully will be so carried away by negative emotions that he or she won’t be able to stop. If so, state that you’ll be glad to discuss the matter once the bully is willing to treat you with the respect that you deserve.

  Then leave the immediate area or, if you’re on the phone, hang up. By doing so you are not only preventing abuse, you’re teaching the bully a lesson and saving the bully from further damaging his or her dignity.

  6. DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM THE SITUATION.

  If the bully does not back down and you are forced to walk away or hang up, you’ll undoubtedly be either upset or angry yourself. If at all possible, do not interact with the other people with whom you work, lest you say something you’ll regret.

  Instead, go somewhere private and cope with your emotions in whatever way works for you. You may want to call a friend or family member to vent your frustration and get some moral support.

  7. AFTER THE BULLY CALMS DOWN, DISCUSS THE ISSUE.

  Once you’ve demanded, and gotten, civil behavior—then and only then—address whatever problem has made the person so upset. When you start the conversation with the (now hopefully calmer) boss, explain that you are committed to resolving the issue.

  Be positive and be professional. Yes, it’s a shame that your boss lacks emotional strength and self-awareness, but the purpose of the conversation is to address a business issue, not to make the boss feel bad for acting like a jerk.

  8. REASSESS THE RELATIONSHIP.

  Now comes the difficult part. Ask yourself,
“Was this a one-time event or is this something that happens all the time?” If the event was unusual, let it slide. People are human. Sometimes they lose it.

  However, if this kind of crap is habitual, it’s time to activate your escape plan (see “Secret 22. How to Achieve Career Security”).

  SHORTCUT

  DEALING WITH A BULLY

  DON’T try to calm the bully down or apologize.

  INSIST on respectful, professional behavior.

  IF the unprofessional behavior continues, leave the immediate area.

  COPE with your own emotions privately.

  REVISIT the issue at a later date.

  DECIDE whether the relationship is worth it.

  PART II